Venting.

This week will be… already is long. But just 3 more days and I will be out of site, out of mind! My FINALLY, well deserved weekend off I believe.. Thank the beautiful lord. There has just been a little too much on my mind and I am thankful to be able to get away very very soon!

Listen up people. You can tell me everything and anything you want about how Albuquerque is not so bad. But please, it would be a waste of your precious O2. (This is mostly for you Ange, haha, don’t want anyone getting their undies in a bustle) Maybe it is just me, but I believe 23 years of one place is long enough. I am amazed at how large this world is, yet I have encountered so much less than I would have wanted to by this time in my life. I mean, I’m already almost a quarter way done… assuming I will live a long, long time ha. Bottom line, I am done with the burque. My mind is set on other things, different places, more opportunities, new people. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy some things about my home town. Take for example the extremely easy grid-like street layout. Of all the times I have traveled out of the state, (even out of the city) I have never been in front of the wheel because my head spins and I have no idea where or what I am doing. Also, the Sandias. So close, so familiar, so beautiful. The sunsets. The mild weather. Wow, this is getting kind of hard to think of more things I enjoy haha. I think I will just stop now.

Basically, I am used to this place. And I am tired and bored. A little upset and uncomfortable. Just a lot of mixed feelings which I would be much happier leaving behind in Albuquerque. Destination? Colorado! Spcifically? Undecided. And I am more then ok with that! Everything about Colorado I absolutely love! Every single time I cross that state line where I am pleasently greeted with the WELCOME TO COLORFUL COLORADO sign, my entire mood changes and I feel at home! The trees, the smells, the colors, the people, the atmosphere, the scenery. I love it all. Keeping my spirit up for the next year in hopes to start my new adventure next summer.

Having 4jobs is the worst idea ever. I feel like this is the way I have lived since the day I started working, and I don’t understand how it is so hard to find one, single, job that pays the bills. But, on the brighter side of things, I am FINALLY getting back on my feet again financially. Maybe…

About 17 minutes ago, I ordered my very own shutter release remote for my freakin camera! Now, I should have had this, but I didn’t. So that’s my story. But I am desperately crossing my fingers in hopes that it arrives conveniently before I leave Friday morning. Going to work on my starry night photographs this weekend. So you all should get very excited. I am.

One thing that I will never ever understand, people. No matter how confident I am in thinking I understand how the human brain works, people cease to amaze me on a daily basis and completely crush my confidence. I mean, I guess the world is a very diverse place, but where did people learn to be so cruel, unfair, and disgusting? More than anything do I wish to stay away from people like this, but in the end it really is inevitable I guess. And I get so bothered that I can’t control this. I could be such a happy person if I wasn’t cursed with caring so much about other people. I wonder sometimes what it is like to live like that. Are those people happy? Or do they just look happy on the outside. I will never know. I will never know alot of things. But I believe I have been living in denial my whole life, about how awful alot of people really are. So I have decided to make myself a promise. To weed through these people and staying away from them. Because although there may be alot of bad, I know for a fact that there is good. I am ultimately thankful for the fire 2 years ago, because it helped me to come to the realization that there is good, caring, people out there just like me. And the fact that I have unfortunatly been involved with the wrong people lately is a bummer, but I am thankful to have realized sooner than later that I am better then them.

I will always live by these words:

Everything happens for a reason

Sometimes it takes a good slap in the face to get back to reality. And last night I was slapped. I am so thankful for the few people that I can confidently call my friends who care about and support me. And will slap me when I need a reality check. I mean, I have not been the best company lately, yet I still have people here, coming back to me day after day, continuing to try to cheer me up. Anyways, thank you. You know who you are.

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