Turning over a new leaf.

 And realizing that life is really not that bad. This past weekend I have probably made enough mistakes to account for the rest of my living years, but I will do what I have to do and own up to each and every one of them and move on. Because what is the fun in life if you are always down on yourself for something that has already happened and is done and over with? The better idea is to look forward and keep your goals and expectations for yourself high. Because I just realized that dwelling on past mistakes, relationships, accidents, or bad judments really brings you down and it’s just not a good way to live. Yes I am 23 years old and yes I am still learning what I want to get out of my life every single day. And now I am not afraid to hide that, I am not ashamed of the things that have happened to me, because I would much rather learn from experience than live a life in fear of screwing up and not truley knowing what it feels like to move on and expect more of myself. Although alot of people are not happy with me right now in my life, I am proud of who I am and I am happy with the person I am becoming. I know I have the ability to succeed and I will. I am tired of letting others opinions and judgements affect me and my decisions in life, even if it is the people I most look up to. I am realizing that I am the only one in control of my life and I will control it the way I please. Yes sometimes it will include mistakes and decisions that I will not be proud of in the end, but at least I can sit here and own up to that and know that shit happens but I am strong enough to move on and learn to be better in the future. So after all this ranting, all I really want to say is that I know I am not perfect, and I am ok with that. I just hope that someday the people I really care about will eventually see that I can succeed and will surpass their expectations. Even if right now is a rough patch in my life, I accept it and vow to try harder to create a less stressful and more enjoyable lifestyle. Because happiness does not just fall into ones hands, we must work for what we want.

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